One Thing Leads To Another

Moving Is Such A Drag

As soon as I was really getting into some "serious" blogging, or at least devoting some serious time to it, I lose my Internet connection. Of course writing doesn't hinge to having the Internet available and being I don't think anyone (at all), is following my blog right now, it really was no big deal. But I did think about it often and made some notes on changes and ideas.

And yep, I moved (again). Since October of 2010 I have moved four times. 

As a matter of fact, I've been living out of boxes and moving around like a turtle with everything I own on my back for the past 5 years.

I won't go into all the reasons why but I never get used to it and some day I WILL have a place where all the boxes are tossed out, my belongings have a permanent place and I'll be able to call it "Home" (and believe it).

The image above is quite fitting for how I feel about ever having a cozy little home of my own - it's not a real possibility, just a cartoon of a dream.

I'm less than a month away from being 55 years old and I now live in the basement, (rent a room), of a so-so house with some people my son found online. Being I'm presently penniless, (looking for a job), I am very grateful to have that proverbial roof over my head and the people are decent and nice, but this is NOT where I envisioned myself at this age.

I feel like "LOSER" is scribbled across my forehead and there are days I feel like my life is over - nothing better will come of this uneven and bleak path I'm on.

Yes, that's the "defeatist" in me I know I need to think more positive and look on the "bright side" (not so easy to do). Not the optimistic attitude that most would expect from a Jesus Freak like me. I definitely cling to Jesus that's for sure but it doesn't mean that the pitfalls and sucker punches that are of the world don't get me down - they most certainly do!

Of The World

God tells us as Christians we are NOT to be "of the world". Yes, we must administer to the world, but He is quite clear to instruct us to steer (very) clear of being part of what takes place and is exchanged out there. The materialistic gluttony is hard to ignore - it's slammed in our faces at every turn. For most people they truly believe that ALL of their happiness hinges on the things they posses.  And we've all heard it, "Money doesn't buy happiness", a cliche of a saying that most people scoff at while idolizing the almighty dollar. The thing is,...money does buy COMFORT and we all want to be comfortable. And that is what I have to remind myself of - comfort is comfort, such as warmth, a full belly, shoes with no holes and a bed to sleep. And God WILL provide us what we need and like the old Rolling Stones has been sayin for years - "not what ya want".

And yes, there is a difference.

I titled this blog "One Thing Leads To Another" because well,..it does!

Even though I have lost ALL material things that I've ever owned, (including every penny) and I've even lost a son, I was led to a place of better understanding and humble gratitude. A lot of people can't even conceive going thru the loss that I have and they don't understand how I can be grateful for having nothing. Well, when it comes from God it's worth more than ANYTHING that money can buy. Of course I'm not grateful for the death of my son, that would be insane, But I am grateful for our Father and my beloved Jesus, (my Constant Companion and Gentle Healer), for getting me through the pain, (which never goes away). 

When Jesus instructed us to "pick up your cross and follow me", he never claimed it would be a cake walk. And yep, a cake walk it is NOT!!