Rain, My Refuge

I've lived in Seattle (Washington), all my life and that means I've been here 50+ years.

Needless to say I've seen a lot of changes, some good, some not-so-good.
Our traffic bites and I avoid driving on the freeway as much as possible. The "rush hour" starts around 2pm and you can count on bumper to bumper, gridlocked traffic running a good 100 miles between Olympia, (south of Seattle), to Mount Vernon, (north of Seattle) till almost 7pm. Fun Fun.

Problem is that most people who work in Seattle can't afford to live there so they move out to areas they can afford and do the grueling commute thing all week.
I guess when they designed the freeways out here they never dreamed the amount of traffic that would be utilizing them - too many vehicles and not enough freeway.


Of course the first thing people ask me when they find out I live in Seattle or that I'm asked from folks who just move to Seattle, is if it rains as much as they've heard it does.
YES! It sure does and I LOVE it!!!

Of course the traffic is even worse when it rains, which is often enough that rush hour can only be described as "The Commute From Hell".

Do you know how to tell the locals from the tourists in Seattle?

It's quite easy -

the visitors, tourists and folks that just moved to Seattle are the ones walking around with umbrellas.

Us locals learned a loooooong time ago that umbrellas are a total waste of time in the kind of rain we have - especially when a wind comes up, (which is quite often).

My youngest daughter LOVED umbrellas when she was little and I can't even count how many she had but do know that she didn't have any of them very long. They were always left behind somewhere in her busy day, never to be seen again. My daughter is 24 now and umbrellas fell to the wayside a long time ago for her. Like the rest of the Seattle locals, she makes sure she dons a warm jacket/coat with a hood when going out in the rain.

Rain = Depression

Some Seattleites get depressed when it rains and that's because it can rain day after day after day.

I don't mind if it rains every day and as a matter of fact, I prefer it. The rain gives me an odd sense of security, I just love it.

In 2007 I accepted a job at Yosemite National Park in California.

I arrived May 5th and didn't see a drop of rain until November and when it arrived, I did my Happy Dance! I spent a little over three years in the Yosemite area where it feels like summer from Easter to Thanksgiving - way too much sunshine for me!!

I'm not a sun worshiper.

As a matter of fact when the temps rise above 75 degrees I want to hibernate like a bear in the winder and not find my way out until the cool, brisk fall weather creeps in.

California was a struggle for me being in all that sunshine. When I finally got back to Seattle, (which I came back in October 2010), I would sit outside whenever it rained and thank God for not only leading me back to my hometown/city where I am so rooted, but for the beautiful symphony nature presents here - the sound of rain is my favorite music!

You will be secure, because there is hope;

 you will look about you and take your rest in safety. 

You will lie down, with no one to make you afraid,

and many will court your favor.

~Job 11:18-19

Third Cake's A Charm

Cont from previous post...

It wasn't my intention to write so much about cake but when you think about it,

cake is pretty darned important!

We serve up cake for just about everything we celebrate.

And now cupcakes are all the rage and dessert chefs from all over the world are flocking like birds of prey to swoop in on the battle waging against the odds to claim victory

in the fight to reign as Queen or King of Cupcake Kingdom!

I think our love affair with cake has everything to do with nostalgia and holding on tight

to those sacred passeges in life that hinge us to all we hold most dear -

in other words loving and being loved.

Then too, nothing tastes as wonderful as a good, moist cake -

not in my book anyway.

So yes, cake is important to me and when my second marriage came about 8 years after my first, my fiance and I wanted a big wedding with all the trimmings.

It was a homemade wedding venue

but the ceremony took place a quaint little church and then

a lively reception followed at a local banquet hall.

My future husband had a HUGE family -

lots of siblings and one of his sisters, who was known for creating tasty,lovely cakes offered to do ours as a wedding gift.

Of course we accepted the generous gift!

 She wanted to make 4 tiers and place them at different levels on the cake table. That was fine with us, all I wanted was 2 tiers to be chocolate,

 my fave and the other 2 white cake, my fiance's favorite.

The frosting would be a Bavarian cream - Y-U-M!

Having a homemade wedding is NOT an easy task -

not when you have all kinds of family members crawling out of the woodwork

to offer their opinion. I also found out that when you decide to do a big wedding

 and reception, all kinds of family and friends volunteer to do stuff.

But when the time comes, they're no where to be found.

So much for good intentions I guess...

My parents were paying for the reception and my fiance and I paid for the ceremony.

It was a generous gesture on my parent's part, (they adored my soon-to-be-hubby),

and for the most part my Mom and Dad steered clear of forcing their opinions on me, happy to just sign the checks - what a blessing they were!

It was my fiance's family that felt they had a right to change plans, feeling "their way" was the better way and my fiance did little to stop it and always found a way

 to hide out when tempers flared and opinions clashed.

By the time our June wedding day arrived, both my fiance and I

were more than ready  to have it all be over with.

 Don't get me wrong, we were still excited about our special day,

 we were just totally fed up with all the WORK it was to put it all together.

I won't go into great detail about all the things that didn't go quite as we'd planned

 as this is about the cake, but I will offer up a few sound words of advice -

just in case you or someone you love is in the midst of planning a wedding.

DO NOT

wear a pair of fancy Victorian lace boots down the isle unless you have

 taken the time  to wear them in and I mean REALLY wear them in -

especially if you're a gal like me and never wear heels in the real world.

The whole time I stood up at the alter getting married to the man of my dreams

 the only thing I could think about is how bad my poor feet hurt!

DO NOT

tell the cherub-faced, rosey-cheeked, sweet little old lady

 that plays the piano  at church service every Sunday to

 "Go ahead, play whatever you like, I'm sure whatever you choose will be just fine!"

Our sweet little church lady chose 2 of the most slow moving, GRIM

pieces of piano music I have ever heard and the worst part is

 they were also VERY long!

It was like getting married to two of the longest funeral marches that

were ever composed - CHOOSE the music yourself!

DO NOT

(And now we get to the cake part)

accept the generous offer from a family member to make your wedding cake-

not unless you don't care if it shows up at your wedding totally different

 than what you asked for - yep, that's what happened to me.

It took me awhile to notice at the reception that our wedding cake didn't

look the way we had planned, but she had it set up at the cake table very nicely.

I placed an ivy leaden wicker wall behind the cake table with the ivy

mixed with peach hued and white roses.

On the cake table more ivy was wrapped around the cake pillars and lit candles accented along with rose petals scattered here and there.

 Everyone gushed about how beautiful it was and it was!

Finally it was time to cut the cake and my new husband and I went over

and did the traditional cutting of the cake and no, we didn't assault each other with it.

It was one of the white tiers that we cut into first.

Always keep in mind -

no matter how swept up in the moment a bride can be she is still sharp as a tack

 when it comes to the most important details of her wedding, (no matter how small).

First thing I noticed as we cut into the cake is that it was NOT iced with Bavarian Cream icing, it was boring old, too-sweet butter cream icing AND the chocolate mousse filling was missing, (there was no filling at all)!

Whatever disappointment I was feeling I shoved aside,

 "Don't sweat the small stuff", I told myself and went along with the happy flow

 of the reception, enjoying all the traditions that take their place one after another - toasting, our first dance, tossing of the garter and bouquet and then making the rounds,

smiling brightly and talking to all of the over 300 folks that came to our wedding.

Finally, when things settled into some free time for us I decided I wanted

a piece of our chocolate wedding cake!

My Maid-of-Honor joined me at the cake table and with giddy eagerness

 I cut into one of the untouched tiers - it was white cake.

Okay, well...off to tier number three!

I sliced into it and smiled wide to see that it wasn't the white cake

 and plopped a big slice onto a cake plate for me and then one for my Maid-Of-Honor.

I guess were so taken with the happy energy in the room we didn't really look

that close to the slices of cake on our plates.

 In unison we stuffed our forks full of the sweet goodness into our mouths.

When your mouth is expecting one thing

and ends up being filled with something else, it WILL rebel and has an uncanny way of showing it's shock and disappointment by contorting our faces into a hideous grimace. 

My Maid-Of-Honor's faced twisted into horror mirroring the same look on my face.

"What IS that?!", she asked, smacking her lips in disgust

 looking closely at the reddish, brownish piece of cake on her plate.

I swallowed the foul tasting concoction and spied the piece on my plate.

"I dunno", I choked, "I think it's some kind of spice cake".

Both of us ditched our cake plates and went over to the fourth, (and last), cake tier.

"That was disgusting!", my Maid-Of-Honor whispered to me as slid the cake knife

 into the fourth tier. I didn't have to put a slice on a plate to see that the fourth tier

 was the same nasty reddish, brownish spice cake that we'd just experienced.

My heart fell.

Yes, it's a small thing I guess, but I ASKED for chocolate cake!

WHY DIDN'T SHE MAKE ME MY CHOCOLATE CAKE?!!!

I didn't stick around to talk to my Maid-of-Honor about it.

I was quick to ditch that fourth tier and through the crowd of guests I zig-zagged

and searched high and low until I found my brand new sister-in-law.

I wasted no words.

"Where is my chocolate cake?"

She looked at me stunned.

 I'm sure she was expecting me to offer up a mouth full of praise for her creation,

 not me glaring at her demanding my chocolate cake!

She opened her mouth and stammered a bit, her eyes fluttering as a red flush ran slowly over her face. Finally some words came out of her mouth, "Ummm,..well,..I..uh..I..uh..didn't make chocolate."

"WHY NOT!!!", I burst out loudly,

which got the attention of my husband's mother, bringing her quickly 

into the "cake discussion" in defense of her daughter's choice to rob me

 of my sacred chocolate wedding cake -

 I was NOT a Happy Camper!

As bad as it could have gotten, it didn't and thank God for that.

I don't recall every detail of what took place after confronting my sister-in-law,

 but it was my new husband that came over and basically saved his sister from my wrath.

The brownish, reddish mess turned out to be carrot cake, not spice cake.

I happen to like carrot cake, but this was the absolute worst carrot cake I've ever had the displeasure of having in my mouth.

I never found out WHY she decided to scrap my chocolate cake in favor of the hideous carrot cake - that's just how his family is and it set an unfortunate pattern of how life would be for me being married into such a controlling family.

I can still see as though it was yesterday,

my new husband praising his sister in regard to the cake at the same time devouring

 three slices of (his white cake).

With every bite he took I felt totally robbed and dismissed,

(a feeling that I would experience over and over while married to this man)

We ended up divorced 10 years and one month later.

It was a good marriage but we couldn't survive his family's constant intrusion.

We had one son together and remain on friendly enough terms.

It's kinda ironic how on our wedding day he got what he wanted, the white cake,

and in a sense, he "got his cake and ate it too".

The same goes for now,

five years after our divorce, he's remarried and is still

"Having his cake and eating it too".

I haven't been with anyone since my ex-husband.

I don't think it's "in the cards" for me and I'll most likely live out

 the rest of my life without a man next to me.

I have some regrets towards my failed marriage, but I am happy that my ex

is happily married and that he "has his cake".

Maybe it was an omen of some kind -

I never got the chocolate cake I wanted in either of my 2 weddings

and both marriages failed.

Guess if I ever get married again and my chocolate cake actually arrives

as ordered it will be a sign that "Third cakes a charm!"

Did Someone Say CAKE?

A close friend of my daughter announced she's getting married and everyone's doin a Happy Dance about it.
This a girl, well, at almost 30 years old I guess she's not a girl anymore, has been friends with my daughter since they were around 12 years old. My daughter will be her maid-of-honor and the plans are already in the works for an engagement party, (hosted by my daughter and her husband). I suggested a high end kinda martini theme for the gathering and they loved it.
::: pats self on back :::

The wedding is set to take place next Fall -
she wants to take her time and have the wedding she's always dreamed of. I think Fall is a beautiful time of year to get married. Why so many couple choose to have hot, sweaty summertime weddings is beyond me.


I'm going to call my daughter's friend and her man Amy and Dan.
They've been together for a long, long time, so long that some folks thought they were already hitched, (yeah, they live together - no kids). They are successful, have satisfying careers and I have no doubt their marriage will be a long and happy one. And I'm not just saying that because they have decided to not have children, lol.

New Age Nuptials

Amy and Dan want a traditional wedding with a party hardy dance-your-butt-off reception.Those are the most fun, (I think), and I can't think of a better way to start off as man and wife, (followed with a week in Bermuda)!

It will be nice having a wedding on the horizon, it's been awhile. Seems for the last 8 years babies were being born every six months with a funeral tossed in here and there.

Adore the babies but can do without the funerals!

Nowadays anything goes for weddings and that's cool.

It's a woman and man's most sacred union and the day they join together should be exactly the way they want it, (no matter how off the wall they might want it). Of course these days the bride and groom can cell phone in their vows and text those "I Do's" to one another - anything goes!

Amy and Dan would never go to that extreme but I'm fairly certain their two boxer dogs, (their kids), will be a part of the wedding party.

I don't understand the folks that feel they have a right to criticize what a couple wants for their wedding or worse yet, barge in and alter the arrangements against their will.

And I know what I'm taking about - it happened to me!

Third Cake's A Charm?

It might be that I still have yesterday's post on my mind, (about the cake decorated models on Project Runway), but I think the wedding cake is the most important things at the wedding reception. I could care less about the champagne, (I don't drink), and as long as couples can dance I don't care that much about the music, but the C-A-K-E, now THAT'S important! Could be the wedding cake is so special to me because, well, for one, I LOVE cake, but also because of what happened to me.

I've been married twice.

My first marriage I tell people lasted ten minutes, (actually two years).

I was 29 years old, all my friends were married, (I felt like a professional bridesmaid in those days), and I guess the fear of ending up the Old Maid was getting the better of me.

I'd only known my first husband 6 weeks before we got married.

A word of advice to anyone that might be reading this - DON'T DO THAT!

Yes, the marriage was doomed but we didn't know that the day we got married.

It was a house wedding, (another way of calling it what it was..C-H-E-A-P as hell!)

My parents were traveling in another state and couldn't make it. That really tore me up at the time but after he and I split up I was glad they weren't there to fall witness to that train wreck.

We tied the knot in March, (and no, I wasn't pregnant), and it was 1986.

My dress was nothing special, a drab blue number with the big, big shoulder pads that were so popular back then and I sported the BIG 80's hair-do to match.

We got our cheap gold wedding bands for 10 bucks each and I held a single white rose.

I told everyone that's what I wanted and that fancy over-sized bridal bouquet dripping with roses and carnations were pretentious. Truth is a would have DIED to have the big pretentious bouquet, (with the lacy long-trained wedding gown to go with), but the single rose was all I could afford. 

The one thing that I wanted to be special was the wedding cake.

I was in Culinary school at the time and paid a fellow student way in advance to make us a beautiful chocolate wedding cake with whip cream frosting that would have accents of flowers and swirls in blues and a little light green. Cakes were this guy's specialty I was real excited that at least we'd have the perfect cake to mark our day.

We were set to be married in late afternoon and at noon the cake guy was supposed to drop off ours. Well, 12:00 came and went and no cake. I called and called and called and got no answer. It was about a half hour before things were to start when he FINALLY pulled up in front of the house - was so relieved! 

I ran out to his car and of course he was apologising all over the place as soon as he saw me. I told him not to worry, it was no big deal as everything was fine now that our special wedding cake was there. He looked away from me and said, "No, that's not what I me", and then looked away as he continued, "I didn't...make your cake". My heart dropped as attempted to make amends for letting me down, (an understatement).

Seems he'd spent ALL night partying and was too hung over come morning to make the cake, (which I already paid $75 bucks for - which is a lot of money back then for a sheet cake). He produced a cake for us though, one he purchased at a grocery store.

It wasn't even a wedding cake, it was a birthday cake and the worst part, it was a WHITE cake, not a chocolate cake that I had my heart set on. And of course no whip cream frosting.

Long story short -

the cake ended up tasting like sawdust frosted with wall paper paste and the marriage was reduced to sawdust 2 years later.

And when things went awry in regard to my wedding cake when I married for the second time, 8 years later, I was NOT a Happy Camper!

THAT story will have to wait until the next post as this one got away from me, getting much too long.

**************************

Couture VS Cake

As much as I love my Project Runway, I'm also into some other shows that I like a lot.
 I'm a Chef by trade, (for over 25 years), so some of the cooking shows on the Food and Travel Chanels can reeally draw me in. I especially like the cake decorating shows - not my strong point when it comes my trade, so maybe that's why I find it so interesting to watch. Now that they use fondant instead of the old fashioned buttercream frosting, the possibilities are endless in what a decorator can do with her or his creativity.

One show that I like a lot is Cake Boss.
Maybe it's everyone's thick Brooklyn accent that *I like so much, but it's also the amazingt cakes Buddy Valastro and his staff put together that are nothing less than eye-popping toshow stoppers. I was also quite impressed with the time and effort he puts in the "Make A Wish" program - a true labor of love and I really admire that.

Cake Boss

Buddy Valastro

I think my facination forFashion and Food is getting a tad bit out of hand.

Yesterday I got into a Cake Boss marathon and while watching, I browsed the Project Runway site and also worked on my own site dedicated to the show.

It's not like me to sit like a vegged out blob in front of the boob tube like that, but the Cake Boss was turning out some really cool cakes and I was enjoying the progress I was making on my PR site - the best of both worlds I guess, lol.

So I go to sleep last night and I had the most vivid and realistic dream about Project Runway which includes all of this season's designers - I loved it!

 It was as if the next challenge was taking place with me there in person to watch all the creative magic unfold. I guess I was the "guest judge" because when it came time for the designs to hit the runway I was sitting in the guest judge seat right alongside Michael Kors, Nina Garcia and Heidi Klum.

Only one missing from my dream was Tim Gunn, (DRAT!)

I was downright giddy with anticipation as the lights went down and the first model began her strut down the runway - WOOHOO!!

Every single model that stopped to do her sashay and pose was wearing the most enchanted, gorgeous, mouth-watering design of a giown.

Each one that passed by me was my absolute favorite!

 The designers were all seated where they usually do watching with pride as their models served up their scrumptious couture, each beaming as bright as proud parents gazing to their first borns.

When it was over I was totally deflated - I wanted MORE!!

Michael, Nina and Heidi were just as impressed as I was and all four of us were abuzz with our praises of the sweet magic that was just presented before us.

It came time for Heidi to call out all the models to join their designer and I worried how in the world I was going to be able to pick a winner?

 ALL the designs were amazing!

My tummy had giant butterflies fluttering all about as I looked to each of the models and their designers, their anxious faces lit up like children at Christmas. Their fashion fate was in our hands and the desire for more was just too much -

I couldn't contain myself and blurted out loudly, "I want to taste ALL of them!"

Then it hit me -

the models were decorated from head to toe like fancy cakes!

My moutn dropped open like a stunned codfish and the only thing I could think about was findiong me a (very BIG), plate and fork

YUMMY!!

Before I had chance to start devouring these delectable designs, I woke up and no,

there wasn't a big bite out of my pillow!

Think it's time to take a break and walk away from the TV!!

Life Is A Runway

There is another aspect to this blog aside from the task of embracing this complex, yet pretty darn simple project of me - and that is to dedicate some blog space to a few of my favorite TV shows and other Little Box fascinations, (of which some might view as addictions even).

I can't believe I just typed in my blog that I will be paying homage to, of all things, TV SHOWS!
It's not that I'm glued to the TV set 24-7, I actually watch little TV compared to most people, but when I get wrapped up in a show I like to give it my all, lol.

The reason I mention this about my TV shows right off the top is that I've "fashioned" my blog a tad bit around my #1 fave show - Project Runway. No doubt you'll see the designs I put here hinge to the whole concept of the show. Main reason I am so drawn to the show is that I do design and sew, (and quite well by the way). My mother taught me - she was an amazing seamstress and I learned a lot from her, (God Bless Her Saintly Soul).

So the creative aspect of Project Runway hooked me since it first aired, (I've followed the show since  it's beginning nine years ago), and of course I also get drawn into the personalities of the competing designers and the suspense of who will "make it" or "not make it".
Mainly I love to see what the designers create each week and along with them, I come up with my own design for the week's challenge. This season is a weak one when it comes to what they are presenting in front of the judges and I'm not ashamed to admit...my designs have them all beat!

It's kinda strange that a person such as me, who doesn't care all that much about the clothes I wear, would be so into a show that pivots around fashion. But once a person gets to know me they understand that my main reason for existing on this planet is to C-R-E-A-T-E.
I don't plan on fixating only on this show, but thought it would give some insight as to why I titled by blog "Project Shaye".

Yeah, life is a runway.
We get one chance to make something out of our lives with that "Wow Factor" and then dance it down the runway for all to see.
What we create can be just like everyone else or end up so abstract and bizarre that people just look at us and scratch their heads. Yeah, sure would be nice if life came with a seam ripper where we could undo all the mistakes and sightly flaws, but we can't.
What we can do though is just keep on truckin down that runway, head held high and keep telling ourselves it doesn't matter what the rest of the world thinks. If we truly believe that what we have created with our life is beautiful and sacred, then that's all that matters.
As for me, I don't walk the runway alone - no way..
 Jesus is right alongside me and he ain't there to make a fashion statement, He's there to make sure I can stand up and take the steps.

Yeah, I'm a Jesus Freak
and when it comes to the fabric of my life - He makes it work for me!

 Therefore, I say to you, do not worry about your life,
what you will eat ot what you will drink;
nor about your body, what you will put on
Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns;
yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not of more value than they?
Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?


So why do you worry about clothing?
Consider the lilie3s of the field, how they grow:
they neither toil nor spin, and yet I say to you
that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.


Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is,
and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you,
O you of little faith?
~Matthew 6:25-30

A Woman In Progress

Greetings!
My name is Shaye and I'm a project in the works.
But then I guess we all are or should be. We never reach a place of total perfection
and there's always something to learn. Just when we think we "know it all", someone comes around pointing an accusatory finger at us, calls us a "Big Fat Know It All" and proceeds to prove just how stupid we really are.
Such is life.

For some folks being viewed as anything else but perfect shakes them to the core of who they are or I guess who they think they are. For me, I'm the first one to admit I don't know everything and when it comes to having flaws - I'm loaded with them.
I've made my share of mistakes, traveled more low roads that I'd like to admit and searched out the easy way when I should have grit my teeth and toughed it out.

And I have my labels - I'm divorced, a smoker, (of cigarettes), am 54 years old, I suffer from panic disorder, PTSD and have severe dyslexia.
YIKES!

Oh well, we all have something.
 On the positive side of that page there's a lot of cool stuff about me and these are the projects in the works. For the most part I plan on using this blog to focus on the spiritual and creative aspects of me. The little windows that let in the Light and allow the shadows to escape.


 I began blogging before blogging was invented.
Back then it was called "Online Journaling" and a lot of people thought I was really whacked to put my thoughts online instead of pouring them into a diary or one of the many pretty leather bound journals they'd given me for Christmas over the years.
 It took awhile for the notion of "online journaling" to take off, but as soon as people started calling it a "Blog" I guess natural curiosity took effect, giving online journaling a new, more "hip" path.

Being on the computer is part of me, (who I am), and I highly doubt I'll ever walk away from my little box unless it's to go off and die somewhere. I'm not as attached to it these days as I have been in the past (and that's a very good thing). A woman can't live out her life in a box, (believe me, I tried). As much as my computer has served as a glorious vessel taking me to places I otherwise would have never experienced, I learned, (the hard way), it can't take the place of basking under a vibrant sun or drinking in the heady scent of the sea mixed with a rambunctious wind.
My life has been weighed down with heavy sorrow and yet lifted to the highest mountain on the wings of eagles. I have no agenda with this blog except to keep the work in progress, this never ending project of me.

Mercy and truth have met together,
Righteousness and peace have kissed.
Truth shall spring out of the earth,
And righteousness shall look down from the heaven.
~Psalm 85:10-11