Mother's Day Already?

I take a very practical view of raising children.

I put a  sign in each of their rooms: "Checkout Time is 18 years."

~Erma Bombeck

May 13, 2012

Yep, that's when Mother's Day is this year, (on a Sunday for those that don't know,...it always falls on a Sunday), so that's a little over two weeks from now. No doubt every mother on the planet is wondering what this year's Mother's Day will bring, (whether they'll admit it or not). Some mothers will be over-flowing with giddy anticipation, day-dreaming about what sweet surprises their children have up their sleeves while other mothers approach the day with dread and resignation, afraid to find out how her offspring will blow her off, leaving her all alone or worst yet, show up and devastate another Mother's Day by way of being selfish, stupid or spiteful.


 Most of us will greet the day with a grin and pull our selves up by the boot straps and take part in the day with a fair degree of sentimentality attached to it. We all have a mother, (somewhere, either here or,..well,..not here), and then some of us ARE mothers, even grandmothers! I'm a mom  and now, at 55, I'm a Proud Grandmother, (but no 'Proud Grandma' plaques and coffee mugs yet) . I have 5 children and 3 grandchildren, which I love and cherish dearly. Years ago, when I was knee deep and sweatin in the trenches of being one of those caped hit the floor runnin, hands on, no time for a break mother, I just couldn't understand why all the "older" grandma aged mothers got the royal treatment on Mother's Day. I figured us moms who were scrambling after naked toddlers, breaking up sibling smack downs and negotiating loan terms with lazy, yet sly teens trying to rob the already too generous "Bank Of Mom" were, oh, so much more entitled to the red carpet pampering!. I mean after all, WE were the ones in active battle on the front lines fending off pre-teen explosions, dodging insult over injury while wolfing down stone cold rations like a starved POW.
How come we weren't the special ones?


But the days did pass and I found myself spending less and less time in the trenches and finally, peace arrived. The kids grew up and out of the nest allowing me more time to ponder life and situations, such as why Grandmothers had it so darn good on Mother's Day. Call it wisdom gleaned from years of living, combined with time off the harried battlefield, but it didn't take me long to figure it out. It was suddenly crystal clear to me -  us older, more seasoned moms are gifted with the honors for one perfectly sound reason - WE DESERVE THEM!!!! 

Some folks view Mother's Day as nothing more than one of those sappy holidays created solely for the sake of commercialism - a money maker for gift shops and florists . Well, after a bit of investigating I discovered that isn't the case, (I looked it up on the net).


  Mother's Day has quite the interesting and even hostile past. I won't go into tedious detail, but I found it rather interesting to learn that we basically took the tradition from the Brits. In the 1600's England came up with "Mothering Day", an especially compassionate holiday toward the working classes of England. Just a sweet, sentimental Sunday where servants and trade workers were allowed to travel back to their towns of origin to visit their families. Mothering Day also provided a one-day reprieve from the fasting and penance of Lent so that families across England could enjoy a family feast—Mother was the guest of honor, of course, and lovingly presented with cakes and flowers, as well as a visit from their beloved and distant children. Nothing hostile or stressed out there. No, the unrest wouldn't raise it's ugly head for awhile.  When the first English settlers came to America, they discontinued the tradition of Mothering Day, leaving it back in their British homeland where it would live on as a simple, precious tribute to mothers while the American Mother’s Day would be invented, (of course),—with an entirely new history—centuries later.


 The first North American Mother’s Day was conceptualized with Julia Ward Howe’s Mother’s Day Proclamation in 1870. Despite having penned The Battle Hymn of the Republic 12 years earlier, Howe had become so distraught by the death and carnage of the Civil War that she called on Mother’s from all around to come together and protest what she saw as the futility of their Sons killing the Sons of other Mothers. Julia Ward Howe called for an international Mother's Day celebrating peace and motherhood.
I knew a war had to be involved in it somehow, some way,..
At one point Howe even proposed converting July 4th into Mother’s Day, in order to dedicate the nation’s anniversary to peace, but her proposal was rejected and eventually June 2nd was designated for the celebration.

 In 1873 women’s groups in 18 North American cities observed this new Mother’s holiday. Howe initially funded many of these celebrations, but most of them died out once she stopped footing the bill. The city of Boston, however, would continue celebrating Howe’s holiday for 10 more years. Despite the decided failure of her holiday, Howe had nevertheless planted the seed that would blossom into what we know as Mother’s Day today. 
Thank You Julia Ward Howe!


 A West Virginia women’s group led by Anna Reeves Jarvis began to celebrate an adaptation of Howe’s holiday. In order to re-unite families and neighbors that had been divided between the Union and Confederate sides of the Civil War, the group held a Mother’s Friendship Day. After Anna Reeves Jarvis died, her daughter Anna M. Jarvis campaigned for the creation of an official Mother’s Day in remembrance of her mother and in honor of peace. In 1908, Anna petitioned the superintendent of the church where her Mother had spent over 20 years teaching Sunday School. Her request was honored, and on May 10, 1908, the first official Mother's Day celebration took place at Andrew's Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia and a church in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Whew! Guess Mother's Day wasn't dreamed up by store owners and when you know the depth of dedication these women carried and then rallied for, ya can't help but have a little more respect for Mother's Day.

But wait, there's more!

It was Anna Jarvis who created the tradition of presenting carnations to mothers on their special day. She chose white carnations—her Mother’s favorite flower—to adorn the patrons. Two carnations were given to every Mother in attendance. Today, white carnations are used to honor deceased Mothers, while pink or red carnations pay tribute to Mothers who are still alive. In 1908 a U.S. Senator from Nebraska, Elmer Burkett, proposed making Mother's Day a national holiday at the request of the Young Men's Christian Association (YMCA). The proposal was defeated, but by 1909 forty-six states were holding Mother's Day services as well as parts of Canada and Mexico. Anna Jarvis quit working and devoted herself full time to the creation of Mother's Day, endlessly petitioning state governments, business leaders, women groups, churches and other institutions and organizations. She finally convinced the World's Sunday School Association to back her, a key influence over state legislators and congress. In 1912 West Virginia became the first state to officially recognize Mother's Day, and in 1914 Woodrow Wilson signed it into national observance, declaring the second Sunday in May as Mother's Day.
Way To Go ANNA!!!!!

And it doesn't end there,...

The holiday flourished in the United States and flowers, especially white carnations, became very popular. One business journal, Florists Review, went so far as to print, “This was a holiday that could be exploited.” But the budding commercialization of Mother's Day greatly disturbed Jarvis, so she vociferously opposed what she perceived as a misuse of the holiday.


In 1923 she sued to stop a Mother’s Day event, and in the 1930's she was arrested for disturbing the peace at the American War Mothers group while she was protesting their sale of flowers. In the 1930’s Jarvis also petitioned against the postage stamp featuring her Mother, a vase of white carnations and the word “Mother’s Day.” Jarvis was able to have the words “Mother’s Day” removed but the flowers remained. In 1938, Time Magazine ran an article about Jarvis's fight to copyright Mother's Day, but by then it was already too late to change the commercial trend. In opposition to the flower industry’s exploitation of the holiday, Jarvis wrote, “What will you do to route charlatans, bandits, pirates, racketeers, kidnappers and other termites that would undermine with their greed one of the finest, noblest and truest movements and celebrations?” Despite her efforts, flower sales on Mother's Day continued to grow. Florist's Review wrote, “Miss Jarvis was completely squelched.”

Anna Jarvis died in 1948, blind, poor and childless.
Jarvis would never know that it was, ironically, The Florist's Exchange that had anonymously paid for her care. By the time of Anna M. Jarvis's death, over 40 countries observed the Mother’s Day, and today that number exceeds 70.

History Of Mother's Day

It wasn't my intention to add quite so much in regard to the history of Mother's Day, but the story intrigued me and I just had to share.  Interesting how such a sweet and innocent English celebration known as "Mothering Day" could end up as such a scandalous mess once it got over here, (but not surprising). My heart aches for Anna Jarvis.  She stood stern to her beliefs so valiantly only to end up alone, poverty stricken and without children of her own gathered around her when her time on this earth was finished. I don't know about you, but for every Mother's Day that I'm blessed with I'll think fondly of Anna Jarvis and send up a little prayer of gratitude in her honor for all she sacrificed in order for us mothers to have our very own holiday. Sad though, that as soon as that sweet Mothering Day seed from England sprouted into an idea for us, it was saddled up and slapped into battle. I do find it rather fitting though, that the women who were so instrumental in creating Mother's Day rallied with the spirit and tenacity of an Army General to gain the attention of the people. A woman's spine is made of surgical steel and once she gets her back up about something she's passionate towards, watch out and step back, she knows NOT the meaning of retreat!


Every Mother
Whether it be that you are a mother, grandmother, step-mom, aunt, sister, close friend, nanny or just a woman that tends to and loves unconditionally the folks most precious to your heart, Mother's Day was created in YOUR honor and I salute you for the dedication and generous labor of love you've bestowed upon your family. 


I hope this Mother's Day gifts you with a chance to sit back, put your feet up and bask in the joy as the hugs come your way!

All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.

~Abraham Lincoln